My daughter loves her new prom dress

My daughter found her prom dress last Saturday. It cost five dollars at a local thrift store and is in perfect condition. Garments that are only worn for special occasions often are in wonderful shape because they usually only get worn a few times. Except for a minor alteration to the shoulder straps, the dress fits her like a dream, looks nothing like what everybody else will be wearing, and according to my quickie internet search, comparable dresses by the same manufacturer run around $150. And although she loves this dress, since prom is months away, my daughter has time to continue to snoop around the thrifts, just in case there’s something out there that she likes even more. I can afford to spring for another five bucks, or even ten, if it’ll make her happy.

Having only one rule means that a) I can never be accused of being overly restrictive (at least in this arena), and b) my kids get to learn what styles they like and dislike. I do offer my opinion about quality and fit, but my kids are entitled to ignore me if they want to.

I’m relaxed about their clothing choices partly because the majority of what they wear comes from thrift stores and costs next to nothing, but also because there are so many other battles that are so much more important. They pick out something made out of cheap material? The price is three dollars, so who cares? They’ll learn something about fabric when it develops pills after they wear it two times. They want to wear only black? Gee, so do a majority of women who work in the fashion industry. They’re drawn to a pair of pants that I think is unflattering? Why is this my business?

Teens need to make good choices about things that matter like sex and drugs. They won’t learn how to best decide the important stuff if they aren’t allowed to choose the inconsequential stuff. The clothes just don’t matter.